The Influences of Differences between Chinese and Western Cultures on Polite Language

The Influences of Differences between Chinese and Western Cultures

on Polite Language

[Abstract] Language is the most important communication tool for human beings. And in it is loaded the profound national cultural connotation. Since mankind headed into the era of civilization, polite language has been highly valued in each culture, community and group. On one hand, polite language is an indication of being elegant and civilized, and on the other hand, it is helpful to establish and maintain a good relationship between people. As an observable phenomenon, politeness is something superficial and is recognized as a norm in all societies. People in every culture are trying to be polite when communicating. Furthermore, politeness is culture-specific to some extent and a reflection of specific cultural values in the language. Due to the influence of cultural value orientations, the actual manifestations of politeness and the standards for its judgment differ substantially from culture to culture. Therefore,

misunderstandings or even breakdown may occur if the cultural differences of politeness are neglected in cross-cultural communication. This thesis aims to make a contrastive study on polite language between Chinese and the West in cultural perspectives and the points that people should be aware of in communication between different cultural groups.

[Key Words] polite language; cultural trait; cultural value; cross-cultural communication; cultural difference

中西文化差异对礼貌用语的影响

【摘 要】 语言是人类最重要的交际工具。语言负载着深厚的民族文化内涵。自人类进入文明时代，礼貌用语就被各文化社团及学者所广为重视。一方面，它是社会文明和进步的象征；另一方面，它又能帮助人们建立和维持良好的人际关系。作为一种可观察得到的社会现象，礼貌是一种表面现象，是由所有社

会所认同的一种规范。人们在交流时，都会努力做到礼貌。同时，礼貌具有文化特性，是特定文化价值在语言中的折射。由于文化价值的影响，表示礼貌的方式方法，以及人们用以判断礼貌的标准也会有所不同。因此在跨文化交际中，会出现一些误解，这些误解常常会导致交际失误乃至失败。本文试图从文化角度来对比中西礼貌用语的用法，阐述文化差异对语言的巨大影响以及人们在不同文化之间的交流上要注意的问题。

【关键词】 礼貌用语；文化特性；文化价值；跨文化交际；文化差异

1. Introduction

What is politeness? We might say it is showing courtesy, respect and consideration to other people, acknowledging them, and not imposing unnecessarily on them. Politeness is everywhere. It can be showed in two aspects: verbal form and non-verbal form. Through all its verbal and non-verbal aspects, “language embodies cultural reality”. [1] In daily life, it is very easy to give a pile of examples of politeness. For example, to say “Thank you” to one who has offered you some help is polite, and to take a book from your roommate’s private bookshelf without first asking for permission is considered impolite behavior; to greet your elders with appropriate address terms is polite and to enter a friend’s room without knocking at the door is impolite.

All cultures require and value politeness. Although the notion of politeness is universal, it has different origins and thus different connotations in different cultures. In the first half of the 20th century, European linguists became aware that forms of linguistic behavior that we may now label as “polite” deserved attention in the study of language. From then on, linguists have made every effort to define “politeness” as a subject of study. They concentrate on its supportive features and say that politeness is for reaffirming and strengthening relationships. Politeness is a device used to avoid offense and reduce friction in personal interaction. After that, English linguist Leech delivered his six criteria of politeness in 1983, which is called “Politeness

Principles” (PP). The maxims of the PP proposed by Leech (1983:133) go in pairs as follows:

(I) Tact Maxim (in impositives and commissives)

Minimize cost to other, maximize benefit to other

(II) Generosity Maxim (in impositives and commissives)

Minimize benefit to self, maximize cost to self

(III) Approbation Maxim (in expressives and assertives)

Minimize dispraise of other, maximize praise of other

(IV) Modesty Maxim (in expressives and assertives)

Minimize praise of self, maximize dispraise of self

(V) Agreement Maxim (in assertives)

Minimize disagreement between self and other,

Maximize agreement between self and other

(VI) Sympathy Maxim (in assertives)

Minimize antipathy between self and other,

Maximize sympathy between self and other [2]

The most approximate Chinese equivalent to the English word “politeness” is “limao”, which is derived from the old Chinese word “li”. The serious studies of politeness (limao) in China began in the early 1980s. Among the Chinese scholars who have contributed significantly to the study of politeness, the most important one is Professor Gu Yueguo of Beijing Foreign Studies University. Through a thorough study and comparison between ancient and modern politeness, Gu holds that there are basically four essential notions underlying the Chinese conception of “limao”: respectfulness, modesty, attitudinal warmth, and refinement. In his theory, Prof.Gu has traced the origin of the notion of politeness in Chinese culture, and also formulated a different set of politeness maxims, which he thinks are more suitable to the Chinese environment. There are the Self-denigration Maxim, the Address Maxim, the Tact Maxim, the Agreement Maxim and the Generosity Maxim. [3] Among them, the Self-denigration Maxim is the significant characteristic of Chinese politeness and indicated greatly in polite language.

While admitting the universal nature of politeness, we should at the same time be aware that the ways to realize politeness and the standard for its judgment vary cross-culturally. Such differences arise from the different origins of the notion of politeness and the cultural value orientations, which have been gradually formed in the course of history under the influence of various factors.

2. Considerable items related to polite language.

The effect of culture on daily lives is largely unrealized. Perhaps a way to understand cultural influence is by way of analogy with electronic computers: as people program computers to do what they do, culture to a great extent programs people to do what they do and to be what they are.

Culture has been, from the very beginning, a special province of anthropologists. They were the first to explore the term “culture”. For them, culture stands for the way of life, attitudes and behavior patterns of a people. [4] Later, scholar gave it different definitions from different aspects of research. It is estimated that there have existed about 300 definitions of culture. As I have mentioned in the previous paragraph, polite language, as a language phenomenon, is greatly influenced by cultural factors. They are as follows:

2.1 Cultural values

Although each of us has a unique set of values, there also are values that tend to permeate a culture. These are called cultural values. Cultural values generally are normative in that they inform a member of a culture what is good and bad, right and wrong, true and false, positive and negative, and so on. Despite their importance in the control of cultural behaviors, values cannot be seen, heard, tasted or experienced. Values are inside people, in their minds and a way of thinking about the world. [5] Therefore, they are mental programs that govern specific speech choices.

China’s traditional culture emphasizes the great esteem for harmony among people, between people and nature, which is profoundly influenced by Confucianism and Taoism. Confucius advocated the restoration of “li”, which referred to the social hierarchy and orders of the Zhou Dynasty and each individual must have his place according to his social position. It can be traced back to the period of feudalism, which lasted more than two thousand years. Chinese value was greatly influenced by traditional philosophies. In China, it is polite to give others face and at the same time avoid losing one’s own face. Chinese are reserves and unwilling to be conspicuous, for they believe the sayings that “The nail that sticks up is hit”, and “Birds that come forward will be shot first”. Since the founding of the new China in 1949, the feudal system has been abolished and a new order of social structure has been introduced, this certainly has

had some effect on people’s status, but the social relations, in general, are still “vertical lines”.

But in the West, people believe that each person is rational and capable of making choices. Each one should be responsible for him. Consequently, they develop themselves freely, emphasize on individual intelligence and ability, and hold that group benefits should make a concession to individual ones. There are many aspects showing the thought of individualism among the Westerners. Just as the words composed of “ego” or “self”, such as egocentric, egoism, ego ideal, and so on; self-control, self-confidence, self-dependence, self-reliance, ect.

The differences discussed above are showed clearly in the polite language. Chinese usually give advice to show their concern and the “we” thinking, such as “Eat more” and “Put on more clothes”. But when you say these to a westerner, he or she does not like that and will think that you are ordering.

2.2 Social norms

Social norms, as one element of culture, are rules about what people should or should not do, say, or think in a given situation. According to the scholars, norms are patterns of appropriate ways of communicating. It is important not only to speak with symbols that are understood, but also to use the symbols at acceptable times with the appropriate people, with the fitting intensity. For example, patriotism is a value; showing respect for the flag is a norm. Norms describe how people should behave. Norms are standards that are shared by members of a certain culture. They provide guidelines for every activity: birth and death, what to eat and what to wear, and when and where to make a joke. Norms are formed in a long period of development. They are rules not written into a law, but realized by people’s habitual behavior. Sometimes, even people themselves do not know why they should follow certain norms.

Norms are reflected in the polite language. Take greetings as an example. In Chinese, “Have you eaten yet?” and “Where are you going?” are the most common greetings. The former is a greeting around mealtime, but in the West, it might mean an invitation if you say to an

English-speaker. The latter may use anytime in China when two acquaintances meet while in the West it is an invasion of their privacy, especially those who are in China but not familiar with Chinese culture. Regarding the reason why Chinese like to greet people in this way, some scholars think that it has something to do with China’s backward economy and poor living standard in the past, therefore, it is natural to care for whether others have eaten or not. But nowadays, the two above-mentioned greetings are the habit of Chinese and good wish but not mean anything. So people just respond to it very vaguely. Greetings that are commonly used in the West are as follows: Hi, Hello, Morning, Good morning/afternoon/evening, and so on.

2.3 Patterns of thought

The mental process, forms of reasoning, and approaches to problem solution prevalent in a community are another major element of culture. They vary from person to person, but differ much more greatly between people from different cultures. For example, in writing a letter, Chinese address is different in order from the western one, which reflects the thinking differences. Chinese and Westerners differ greatly in respect with patterns of thought. Kaplan, an English linguist, concludes that the English speakers’ thought pattern is linear, while the Oriental pattern is like a “gyre”. [6]

The distinction between these two patterns reflects cultural differences between China and the West. Consequently, communications in different cultural backgrounds are also different. Take the response to an invitation for example; there is obvious difference between them.

Example (1):

A: How would you like to come to my party?

B: (Chinese) Maybe I will come to.

But the Westerners like giving a definite answer, and the responses are as follows:

A: How would you like to come to my party?

B: Thank you very much. I’d love to. Or

That’s very kind of you, but I’m afraid I’ve already had an appointment.

In the West, the speaker or writer organizes his or her ideas and tries to send them explicitly and directly. In contrast, in China the listeners have to infer the intended meaning from the dialogue. According to an investigation, the majority of Chinese people first give reasons then raise a request, but the Westerners are the opposite. Some English idioms, such as “Don’t beat around the bush”, “Let’s get down to business” and “Get to the point”, reflect western style. In a word, Chinese are more indirect and ambiguous than the Westerners.

2.4 Value of family

The manner in which a culture organizes itself and its institutions also affects how members of the culture perceive the world and how they communicate. As the smallest social organization in a culture, the family greatly influences its members, including the ways of thinking, the attitudes to everything, and the ways of living. From the ancient, Chinese usually live in a big family. Many married young couples live with their parents. So they can take care of their parents. Filial piety is highly valued in China and considered part of morals. In a family, the parents are the

“leaders”. When children encounter problems, they always go back home to consult with their parents. On the other hand, their parents can help take care of their children if they are busy with their work. The relationships between Chinese family members are mutually complementary and unshakable.

In contrast, the vast majority of the Westerners live in nuclear families. Children live in their separate rooms, and they are encouraged to make decisions for themselves and learn to be responsible for things since they are very young. When old enough, they are encouraged to do some odd jobs, such as delivering newspapers, baby-sitting, cleaning the yard to get their own money. Thus, children may learn how to depend on their own from an early age. Independence is a remarkable characteristic of Western life. Generally speaking, the family plays a more important role in China than in the West. The difference takes very important part in polite language. It influences the form of address terms greatly. For example, Chinese children are told to address people at their father’s age or grandfather’s age “shushu, bobo, yeye, nainai” to show their respect, although they have no familiar relationship. But it’s different in the West. Once there was an English-speaking old lady who visited China and complained, “I love China, but I hate to be called nainai”.

Different cultures cause different views of values, which affects the criteria of politeness and lead to differences of polite language in various aspects.

3. Differences in polite language

3.1 Ways to address

Address reflects the relationships between people and the values of different people. In the cross-cultural communication, it is very important to address properly.

China’s emphasis on hierarchy can be traced back to the period of feudalism, which lasted more than two thousand years and influenced China greatly. So Chinese culture believes in a social order in which each person has a rightful and protected place, and that hierarchy presumes existential inequality. Either in formal or informal occasions Chinese usually use one’s occupation to address him to show respect when his social status is considered to be high or respectful. For example, Zhao Engineer, Wang Doctor, ect. If their statuses are considered to be low, such as cleaner, plumber, blue-collar worker and most people in service profession, people always call them “shifu” instead of their occupations to show polite. Among all the examples, “surname + teacher” is a typical form of address in China. Thousands of years of Chinese traditional culture regard it as a virtue to show great respect to teachers and the elder in families, thus, Chinese children seldom raise doubts for teachers, and expressions of disagreement with parents are considered impolite behavior. There is such a saying: a teacher once, a father forever. Although great changes have taken place nowadays, children are still taught to follow the traditional virtue.

But the Westerners believe in minimizing social or class inequality, and reducing hierarchical organizational structures. In formal occasions they address people whose statuses are high with Professor Smith, Chairman Brown, ect. But they never address them with “teacher or manager”. And on common occasions everyone prefers himself to be called with his given name to show intimacy to others while Chinese may feel unpleasant to be called in such a term by an unfamiliar person. For example, if an ordinary friend calls a Chinese girl named “Zhang Qinling” as “Qinling” or “ling”, the girl will look on it as an insult.

Besides, in China, there are many terms to address relatives. Just for an “uncle” in English, there are “bofu, shushu, gufu, yifu” in Chinese.

The ways to address strangers are also different. Chinese people prefer to use family terms to

address strangers or people elder than them. Students are taught to respect the old and cherish the young. For example, children are told to address adults “aunty” or “uncle” and address old people “granny” or “grandpa”, even at the first time they meet. But in the West, it is different to call a stranger. The terms “Mr.”, “Miss”, “Mrs.”, “sir” and “madam” are widely used among people. “Mr.”, “Miss”, “Mrs.” Are used together with a surname while “sir” and “madam” are usually used alone.

When a Chinese want to draw the attention of a stranger, he may use “shifu” to address, no matter the stranger is a male or female. But there is no such a word in English, they will say “Excuse me, sir” or “Pardon me, madam” to address different people.

3.2 Ways to greet

In daily life, greeting is a polite language whenever one meets others and wherever he or she is. It plays an important role in social communication and is a norm of morality and

self-cultivation. However, different cultures have different influences on greetings. The more tradition-oriented a society is, the more its members seem to make use of situational greetings. As is known to all, China is a country with a long tradition, then, Chinese greetings are more situational and less dependent on formulaic greetings, which, in English, tend to have explicit religious derivations.

Although both English and Chinese may also ask or comment on other things as a means of greeting, the two cultures differ in the ways they do this. For example, a Chinese and an

English-speaker are acquaintances and came across in the way home one day. Chinese passed by and asked, “Have you eaten yet?” The English-speaker was offended by this question. This is a typically acceptable and polite greeting used by native Chinese people to show their concern for others, but it is peculiar and offensive to the Westerners. Because to some Westerners, this

question might mean that, “I haven’t either. Come on, let’s go together and get something to eat” or “If you haven’t, I am just going to invite you to my place and have a dinner.” Although it takes a form of question, it is a common Chinese greeting around a mealtime, nothing more than “Hello” or “Hi” in English. There is another example as follows: Chinese people are likely to say, “Where are you going?” when they meet. But in the Western culture, people prefer to comment on the weather as a means of greeting, such as “Isn’t it a good day?”, but not on personal affairs as Chinese people do.

There is another two common ways of greeting in China to state what someone is doing and to greet the other simply. For example, if a Chinese meet someone who is obviously going to the school or washing the clothes, he may say, “Going to study?” or “Washing your clothes?” But these words sound a little strange to the West, for they would not regard these as greetings. In such situations, they are likely to simply greet the person with a common greeting like “Hello”. But if people want to appear friendlier, they can say, “Hello. Have a nice dinner!” or “Hello. You’re doing a good job!”

Although some greetings used in China do not carry any information and people do not need to answer, such as “Where are you going?” “Have you eaten yet?” and “What brings you here?”, people should avoid when they meet English-speakers. Because these greetings are considered as questions which invade their personal life rather than friendly greetings.

We can see that greetings in Chinese are mostly situational. Whereas those in English are generally such verbal routines as: “Good morning”; “Good afternoon”; “Good evening”; “Hi”; “Hello”; “How are you?” “How are things with you?” “How’s everything?” “How are you getting on?” “What a lovely day!” and so on. Greetings in Chinese and English are quite different in linguistic forms, but their pragmatic functions are similar. By greeting, people tend to show politeness so as to establish a good social relationship with each other. In

modern Chinese, more and more people greet others by such routines as “ni hao” and “zao shang hao” and so on which are equivalent to “Hello”; “How do you do”; “Good morning” and so on in English.

3.3 Differences about farewells

Farewell, means more than simply saying “goodbye” in many cases, whether in Chinese or in English. People would make use of this occasion as an opportunity to imply a future meeting, extend an invitation, express good wishes, show gratitude or concern, etc. And people also use different farewells according to the particular time, place and relationship between them.

The most popular and common farewells in English are as follows: Goodbye: Good night; Have a good day; Have a good trip; I hope everything goes well with you; I’m so pleased to have met you; See you; Best regards to your parents; Thanks for everything; It’s been a pleasant stay, etc.

In Chinese, we have such sayings similar to some of those in English as “zai jian” for Goodbye, “yi lu shun feng” for “I wish you a good journey” and “zhu ni hao yun” for “Good luck”. We also have some Chinese specific farewells such as “man zou” and “zou hao” spoken by the host and the hostess. And the guest should answer “qing hui” or “qing liu bu”. While two friends departing after they meet on the road, one of them may say, “I’ve got to leave”. And the other may say, “Let’s chat next time” or “Come to see me when you are free.” All these culture-loaded linguistic farewells cannot find any English equivalents. If these phrases are literally translated into English, they can be expressed as “Walk slowly” “Be careful of walking” ect. The native speakers of English will surely be puzzled and offended. They would think, “Why should I walk slowly? It’s none of your business”, “Is it impolite to walk faster?” “Shall I be attacked by somebody or something on my way back?”

Thus we can conclude that in intercultural communication, we must make sure that the linguistic means we use to perform certain speech acts should not be translated literally from our own to another. Otherwise they may alter their original meaning may be altered and resulting in different speech acts, and consequently lead to communication failure.

3.4 Compliments and responses

Generally speaking, people like getting along with those who share the same views and tastes with them. In offering a compliment, Hu Wenzhong points out that the speaker expresses a commonality of taste or interest with the address, thus reinforcing, or in the case of strangers, creating at least a minimal amount of solidarity. From this, we can see that compliment may be used to start a conversation, even between strangers. Furthermore, compliments are like “lubricating oil”, which can make conversations go smoothly in a harmonious and friendly atmosphere. But in different countries the ways to compliment are greatly different.

Example (2):

(Setting: After seeing a beautiful curtain in an English-speaker’s family, the Chinese wants to praise the curtain.)

Chinese: “How beautiful the curtain is!”

Hostess: “I made it on my own.”

Chinese: “Really? I can’t believe it!”

The Chinese used a surprising tone to show he really liked the curtain. This compliment

works well in China, but the English-speaking hostess felt insulted. As is known to all, the westerners are very confident about themselves. The hostess might think that the Chinese didn’t believe she was capable of doing it and her ability was doubted. In contrast, the Westerners are generous in giving compliments face-to-face and accepting them. For example, when the guests are shown around a newly bought house, it is quite impolite not to praise the house; when the guests are invited to a dinner, they must give a positive comment on the food.

Example (3):

Guest: It’s delicious. (While eating)

Hostess: I’m glad you like it.

On the whole, the Chinese compliment each other less frequently than the Westerners do. Furthermore, in addition to compliments on people’s house and clothes, the Westerners also make favorable comments on one’s own children, pets and even husbands, wives, boyfriends or girlfriends. But in contrast, Chinese seldom make such compliments, and therefore, it is hard for them to understand and accept them. Nowadays, Chinese parents also praise their own children for their achievements and are proud of them. But compliments on one’s husband or wife seldom happen. Instead, Chinese always depreciate the husband or wife as “愚夫” or “贱内”

As for the response to a compliment, it appears in pair with compliment. That is, people who are complimented must respond to it…accept or refuse. [7] The ways to respond to compliments are different in China from western countries. The Westerners tend to accept the compliments, at least in form, whereas the Chinese rend to efface themselves in words, although they do feel comfortable about the compliments. In other words, Westerners prefer to convey their thanks directly while Chinese like to minimize themselves to achieve the same goal. Just look at the

different responses in the following dialogue:

Example (4):

When someone praises them: “How beautiful your skirt is!”

Westerners: “Thanks a lot!”

Chinese: “Really? It’s just an ordinary skirt.”

Example (5):

When they appreciate one’s help,

Westerners: “You’re really a great help to me!”

“I can’t imagine how I can manage it without you!”

“Thank you for enduring so much trouble I brought to you!”

“I really appreciate your help!”…

Chinese: “Sorry to have wasted your time.”

“Sorry for having taken up your precious time.”

“I’m not at ease for bringing you so much trouble.”…

In the majority of circumstances, it is perfectly normal to accept a compliment for the Westerners unless the compliment is very obviously untrue. So people frequently respond simply “Thank you”. For example, if the guest compliments the host on the food, it is common for the guest to say “Thank you. I am glad that you like it” in reply. On the contrary, responses in Chinese are quite different because modesty is highly valued in Chinese culture. Chinese people are apt to observe the self-denigration Maxim of Gu’s PP in modern Chinese. When the concerning compliments are on oneself, Chinese people usually deny it with “No”.

Example (6):

A: Your skirt looks beautiful!

B: Not very good. It is very cheap.

Example (7):

(In China, a foreign traveler sent thanks to the guide.)

Foreign traveler: “Thank you very much for what you’ve done for me!”

Guide: “Not at all. That’s my duty.”

The above responses are typical in Chinese compliment-response exchanges. The differences may result in serious communicative interference in intercultural communication between Chinese and English speakers.

3.5 Considerations of privacy

Different people hold different views about what privacy is. Privacy is valued in all cultures but it is more highly regarded in English culture than in Chinese culture. That is because English culture is characterized by individualism while Chinese culture is characterized by collectivism. The perceptions of “privacy” in the two cultures are quite different. Chinese people pay great attention to human feelings and interpersonal relationships. According to Chinese conventions, it’s polite to show mutual care and “attitudinal warmth” for others. So it is customary that Chinese people initiate their convention by asking about each other’s age, marital status, occupation and even income when they meet each other even for the first time. To Chinese, asking all these questions is undertaken to show concern for others and will shorten the social distance between themselves and their interlocutors. Thus, harmonious relationship can be maintained. Look at the following convention:

Example (8):

(I feel close to the young man now.) I---an old man He---a young man

I: How old are you? He: Nineteen

I: How long have you been in the army? He: One year.

I: How did you join the revolution? He: I follow the army voluntarily when they retreated to the north.

I: Who else are in your family? He: My mother, father, brother, sister and my aunt.

I: Are you married? ... [8]

In China, the above dialogue is common, which is full of concern from an old man to a young man. But if English speakers are asked such questions, they will simply feel that their interlocutors are rudely intruding their privacy. Their sense of privacy is so strong that they are easily offended by such common Chinese greetings such as “Where are you going?” or “Where have you been?” Most English-speakers will think that it is none of other’s business.

But it does not mean that Chinese people have no privacy. Instead it implies that their conception of privacy is quite different from that in English culture. In Chinese culture, the connotation of privacy is not so wide as it is in English culture since the English notion of privacy is related to one’s everything and is sacred and inviolable. In other words, Chinese privacy denotes one’s personal “bad things” in that their exposition to others will cause the loss of one’s self-esteem. Hence, we can say that the Chinese conception of privacy penetrates a value of a sort and that it not just refers to one’s personal things, but also belongs to one’s in-group, say, the family, as the famous Chinese saying goes: “Domestic shame should not be made public”. So in different countries, privacy should be dealt with each case on its merits.

3.6 Considerations of taboos and euphemism

Taboo is a word changed from “tabu”. “It was borrowed from Tongan, a Polynesian language, in which it refers to acts that are forbidden or to be avoided. When an act is taoo, reference to this act may also become taoo. That is, first you are forbidden to do something; then you are forbidden to talk about it.”[9] At the very beginning, it was used by Captain James Cock and changed into English word. Taboo words are also polite language and closely bounded to cultures and reflect traditional customs, religious believes and valuable viewpoint, extensively exist in each field of human lives. There are different standards in different cultures.

In China, “little + surname” or “old + surname” is an address to show intimacy.

It’s known to all the Chinese that age stands for experience and wealth. The older the

more. But people cannot address Westerners in such a way. In English, people say “golden years” and “senior citizen” for the old.

As for the marriage, income and religion, there are many differences. In China, it’s common to talk freely about these topics, for people do not regard these as taboos. But in the West, people cannot ask questions as follows: “Are you married or single? How come you’re still single? How much do you make? How much does your husband give you every month? How much did you pay for that car? Are you a Republican or a Democrat? Do you go to the Catholic Church every Sunday? What’s your religion?” [10]

The word “euphemism” is from the Old Greek. “Eu-” means “good” and “phemism” means “speech”. There are many euphemisms in daily life, which can also be regarded as polite language. For example, “die” can be described as “to be asleep in the Arms of God; to be at peace; to be called to God; to be home and free; the final departure; final sleep; to go to one’s long home; to have found rest; in heaven; with God”etc. “Lavatory” can be described as “men; women; ladies; gentlemen; go and see my aunt; visit John; wash up” etc. [11]

Only by realizing the cultural differences of taboos and euphemisms, will the unnecessary communicative conflicts be avoided. Meanwhile, communication will be finished successfully.

4. Conclusion

In short, politeness is an indispensable element to human communication. The success or failure of communication itself greatly depends on the understanding and use of appropriate polite languages. Different cultures influence their own polite languages. On the other hand,

different languages reflect different cultures. Although individuals may have their own personal styles of communication, personal values reflect group values to a great extent, which can justify our generalizations made in this paper. Polite language, as an observable sociolinguistic phenomenon, is a part of culture. Thus, the actual manifestations of polite language and the standards of its judgment differ from culture to culture. Such differences stem from different histories that the notion of politeness can be traced back to and also from different cultural values gradually formed in the course of time under the influence of a variety of factors. As a result, to interpret the observed differences in polite language, we should go into the depth where different cultural values are firmly rooted.

Those who hold that their cultures are superior and use their own cultural values as criteria to measure and evaluate others are blinded by ethnocentrism completely. As it is mentioned above, every one of us grows up in a certain and specific culture that programs us to do things according to doctrines. Therefore, the study and teaching of Western cultures is of vital importance for Chinese scholars in today’s “global village”. To sum up, this paper provides an overview of how scholars in the English-speaking world and in China have attempted at an account of polite language, makes a comparison of the major cultural differences between English and Chinese cultures. Furthermore, it emphasizes two important points required in a successful

communication. That is, other’s cultures and customs. Only by learning both the grammatical rules and culture while learning a foreign language, can people achieve successful cross-cultural communication.

Bibliography

[1] 克拉姆契. 语言与文化[M]. 上海外语教育出版社, 2000. P3

[2] Ma Zhanxiang. The Interaction between the Cooperate Principle and the Politeness

Principle in Pragmatics[J]. Journal of Inner Mongolia College of Education (Philosophy & Social Science), Dec. 2000, 4. P4

[3] Yao Jun. Studies on the Difference between Chinese Culture and English Culture Reflected Politeness Pragmatics[J]. Journal of Jiaying University (Philosophy & Social Science), Oct. 1999, 5. P76

[4] 许力生. 跨文化交流入门[M]. 浙江大学出版社, 2004. P48-50

[5] German, Kathleen. Principles of Speech Communication[M]. Addison-Wesley Education Publishers Inc, 1998. P56-59

[6] 曲晶. 中西礼貌概念对比[J]. 东北师范大学报（哲学社会科学版）, 2005, 6. P100

[7] Wardhaugh, R. An Introduction to Sociolinguistics[M]. Basil Blackwell Ltd, 1986. P288

[8] 同注[3] P78

[9] Fromkin, V. An Introduction to Language[M]. Peking University Press, 2004. P476

[10] 孙琴芳. 跨文化礼貌用语语用探析[J]. 贵州师范大学学报（社会科学版）, 2002, 3. P85

[11] 严莉芬. 中西禁忌语、委婉语差异的对比研究[J]. 中南民族大学学报（人文社会科学版）, 2005, 5. P173