喜出望外初三作文

篇一:《优秀作文选二(初三)》

作文题目：

描述一件令你感到开心（或激动、遗憾、伤心、愤怒、失望等）的事情。请在作文中描述事情发生的过程、当时的情感，以及此事对你的影响。

写作要求：

1. 根据提示，用英语写一篇60字的短文。

2. 请在空格线上答题；每格写一个单词，标点可不占格。

3. 作文评分依据：语言、结构、内涵和文采。

读题分析

该作文题要求学生记叙身边所发生过的一件事，这件事情令你激动、遗憾、伤心、愤怒、失望等。学生可以选择自己独特的角度去描述，发挥空间很大，可以选取的写作素材也非常多，因为每一个个体的经历都是有别于其他人的。相信他们一定会发现有事可记叙，有话题可说。参赛考生如能将文章篇幅的80%用语描述，20%用于谈此事对作者的影响，这样写就达到写作要求，不会偏离本主题。

记叙文是以写人、叙事为主要内容的一种文体，也是英语作文中最普遍、最基本的文体。一般说来，有时间、地点、人物、时间、原因和结果六要素。记叙文的重点在于“述说”和“描写”。一篇记叙文只要把这些要素写清楚，文章就会内容具体、眉目清晰、中心意思明确。

写人时，要注意介绍人物的身世、经历和事迹等；叙事时，要写清事情发生于发展的过程以及事情法伤的前因后果等。

记叙文的写作特点如下：

（一） 人称：英语的记叙文一般是以第一或第三人称的角度来叙述的。

（二） 时态：记叙文一般分为事实记叙文和想象记叙文。事实记叙文是写已发生的真实事

情，常用一般过去时；想象记叙文是写虚拟的故事，常用一般现在时及将来时。本题目要求以事实叙述为主来写作。

（三） 叙述顺序

记叙文写作最常用的叙述顺序有以下几种：

1. 以时间为线索，按时间顺序展开；

2. 以地点为线索，以地点的转移为顺序展开；

3. 以事件发展的过程为线索，或以人物出现的先后顺序展开。

（四） 叙述的过渡

过渡在上下文中起着承上启下、融会贯通的作用。过渡往往用在地点转移或事件、事件转换以及由概括说明到具体说叙述。

（五） 叙述与对话

引用故事情节中主要人物的对话是提高记叙文表现力的一种好方法。适当地用直接引语代替间接的主观叙述，可以客观生动地反映人物的性格、品质和心理状态，使 记叙生动、有趣，使文章内容更加充实、具体。

佳作展评

习作一：

To keep or not

Something changed my life several years ago. My mum asked me whether I wanted a little brother. I was still very young at that time and was sulky because mum didn’t buy me a doll. I

thought that if I had a baby brother, he could be my toy. So I said. “Why not?” And the next thing I knew was my mother was pregnant! For Chinese children today, it isn’t common to have a sibling, but I do, and I love it. I waited for ten months until my mum was sent to hospital. I waited worriedly, crying for my mother and my baby brother. My eyes were swollen. When mum came home, I purred what an adoring thing!

Up to this day, I still do not regret my decision, even though my brother has already grown up and is not a cure little baby anymore.

综合点评：

该文从选材叙述的角度上独树一帜。文章一开头就开门见山，以“Something changed my life several years ago” 一句话告诉读者，她母亲怀孕要给她再生一个弟弟的消息。此事对于绝大多数中国独生子女的初中生来说，绝对是一个引人入胜的好故事，选材真实可信。她听到母亲怀孕时的喜出望外，和等待她母亲和弟弟回家的心理活动，这些描述都自然可信。

此文把她对她母亲的担心和对弟弟的爱写得很感人。文章结尾简洁，但是令人回味无穷。把弟弟当做玩具享用到真心喜欢弟弟的姐弟之情在结尾句中自然流露。

习作二：

It was the most inspiring thing that ever happened in my life. I was fascinated by the drums when I was eight. I was imaging if I could have a set of real drums, I would be able to play in a band. But it’s only a dream for me. I pretended to play real drums when I was at home alone. I enjoyed waving my hands, hitting some books with chopsticks and making different sounds. present from my parents a week later. It was a set of drums! They encouraged me to keep on playing drums. They also told me to chase dreams and I was greatly inspired by my

综合点评：

此文记叙了作者如何梦想成真的一段经历。文章的开头告诉人们，“我”的生活中一件最令人鼓舞人心的事是有梦想就要追逐，永不放弃，就会梦想成真。作者的选词用句丰富，非谓语动词运用熟练。

下划线部分为表述不妥，或可以改进的地方。

修改1：has 改成had

修改2：Suddenly, my parents appeared at the door.改为One day my parents appeared at the door suddenly.

修改3：They were surprised and 改为Seeing their surprised eyes I…

修改4：anxious改为embarrassed

修改5：didn’t 改为couldn’t

修改6：However 改为Surprisingly

修改7：最后一句改为Now I never doubt that impossible is nothing if we keep on chasing our dreams.

习作三：

At the news that my grandfather was in hospital because of tuberculosis, I stared blankly at my mother, wishing her to say something else, something nice. But she wiped the corner of her eyes and stormed into her room, slamming the door with a resounding crash behind her. I picked up the notice form the hospital, wanting to tear it into pieces. How could such a thing ever happen? Suddenly, over the course of one night,

my loving grandfather was sent to hospital, having water extracted out of his lungs, and he might be lying on his deathbed. It was almost too much for me. The shock was so great but I didn’t even cry, just standing beside the breakfast table, looking at the sun rays slanting downwards through the French windows. I loved my grandpa, and I wanted him to be lying on the balcony, healthy, joyful. I wanted to hold his dried, weathered hands. It was then that the teas crashed out of my eyes.

综合点评：

此文描述作者得知祖父得病后，她母亲一连串的动作和她本人当时的心理活动。作者用词自然真实准确，所选的词汇很好地表述了她母亲的悲痛心情。如 “wiped the corner of her eyes and stormed into her room, slamming the door with a resounding crash behind her.” 这篇文章主题鲜明，构思新颖，描写细致，运用了很多富有表现力的动词，使得文章非常有感染力。作者细腻传神的心情活动和描写值得初中生借鉴学习。文末最后没有谈及此事对自己的影响。不过